Lust. Infatuation. Or Love?
“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” ― Dr. Seuss Look, I’m sorry I didn’t pick up writing blog posts for a long time, and I’m pretty sure you will not be looking forward for this subject as much as you did for my other “inventive” short stories. So, if you have already started reading this, why not finish it?
I’m going to straight away start from the basics – The Definitions.
Lust – strong sexual desire. Infatuation – an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something. Love – (n) a strong feeling of affection. (v) feel deep affection or sexual love for (someone).
Well, there is a lot of difference between each one of them. And that is something really complex to find out what kind of feeling we’re “actually” feeling. Of course, every guy who’s in infatuation says that he/she loves the other person just as much as a person who’s “actually” in love. But what’s that cuts the ice?
It’s the feelings – in itself.
All you got to do to figure out all of this is to sit in a quiet place, and have some peaceful time with just you, and your mind. Doing a bit of research, I found out this interesting comparison – might as well share it here:
Love develops gradually over time. Infatuation occurs almost instantaneously.
Love can last a long time. It becomes deeper and more powerful over time. Infatuation is powerful, but short-lived.
Love accepts the whole person, imperfections and all. Infatuation flourishes on perfection – you have an idealized image of your partner and you only show your partner your good side.
Love is more than physical attraction. Infatuation focuses on the physical.
Love is energizing. Infatuation is draining.
Love improves your overall disposition. Infatuation brings out jealousy and obsessiveness. It causes you to neglect other relationships.
Loves survives arguments. Infatuation glosses over arguments.
Love considers the other person. Infatuation is selfish.
Love is being in love with a person. Infatuation is being in love with love.
So are you in love? Or is it just an infatuation. Let’s find out.
Infatuation deals with that happy face of love. It gives you a million reasons to smile, it gives you day dreams, and it gives you another dozen reasons to be stupid. It is, of course, a short lived feeling for someone and is often termed as “crushes” towards other mates.
Infatuation is a wonderful feeling as long as it is not mistaken for love. Infatuation is when all you see is your crush’s perfections. All you do when you see him/her with others is get jealous. All you care about is seeing him/her again just so that you can get that rush of adrenaline. Infatuation is when you get all possessive about him/her. You love him/her for the reason why you fell for them. You don’t really acknowledge him/her for the way he/she actually is. You try to hide faults, and show only the perfect side of yours. You see butterflies when he/she walks past, and well just everything that is shown in the movies. It’s when you start becoming obsessive about that person. But all that hardly lasts for a longer time. Some day, it’ll just end. And that. Precisely that, is what separates it from love.
But love, it’s something totally different. Love is a serious thing. It’s a really serious thing that grows gradually as the time goes by. It’s when you accept the other person with all his/her flaws, all their perfections, and imperfections. It’s when you don’t care who he’s/she’s talking to, you don’t really get jealous, but you look for his/her happiness instead. You can sacrifice everything of yours just to make her/him feel better about themselves.
It’s when before you taste something good, you think about your love’s reaction towards that happy incident – you’ll think about how happy he/she would feel if they tried this out. It’s when you put him/her before yourself. It’s when you devote your entire life to the person you love the most. Love is all about security, trust and loyalty. In infatuation, there will be a lot of reasons for you to break up. But when you’re in love, even if there’s only one reason to hold on, it’ll be enough for you to not break up. Love is when you purposefully lose an argument against him/her just so that you both don’t fight.
Love is celebration. Unlike infatuation, which drains you out if you don’t get to see that person you desire for, love keeps you happy. Love keeps you going. Love is when you do little sacrifices and never let your pride take control of yourself. Love is when you start changing for the better. Love is the fuel, and mind is the vehicle. Love is commitment. Love is when you choose “we” over “me”. Love is when you both work together to build a good life.
Love is that strength which keeps you going when everything around you goes to hell. Love is that feeling which keeps you in check. Before you do any action, you think the consequences that would affect “we” instead of “me”. It’s when you lose all those selfish thoughts about yourself and make sacrifices for the person you love and you would really not boast about these sacrifices because boasting is not what you did them for, it’s the care and affection you’ve got for them that made you do the sacrifices.
Love is when you have confidence in him/her even when you both might not be together. It’s about holding on tight when everyone tell you to leave. Love is when you panic if you aren’t aware of what your love’s condition is. It’s when you start crying (being a guy or a girl, never be shy of crying) over the thought of your love getting hurt. Love is that feeling which makes you who you are.
Love is experienced in the present moment. It makes you forget all those sad memories and tension of the future, and just let’s you be who you are. Love makes you complete.
So, that was about it. I know, a pretty long post about “love”,”infatuation” and all, but hey, lust is still left out. But, that is not a very big deal either.
Lust is basically a strong desire towards the opposite gender because of their physical attraction, and nothing more. It lasts for a very little time, and can sometimes grow into infatuation. That’s all.
So all my lovers out there, happy Hallowe’en! Cheers!